Postpartum identity is a huge internal struggle

Postpartum identity is a huge internal struggle

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Newborn moms can hear a lot about losing identity - this is probably the problem most new moms struggle with. The sleep deprivation, the self-indulgence, the smoldering breasts - all of them, but identity?

The hard thing is realization: not only was I born to a baby, I became a mother and everything changed in my life, and I was surrounded by myself.Not just a baby, but a mother (Photo: iStock) The mother of author 14 months after her baby can only say that it will take a long time. This is how he summarized his thoughts:When I was pregnant with our baby, both my son and I were convinced that the baby would not change our lives - it fits perfectly in it. This is a widespread standpoint amongst older, independent and ambitious prospective parents. He was constantly bothering me to get ready, and I was just rejecting him, saying to myself that he was another generation. So will my wonderful career, my vacations, my pretty clothes, and of course my beautiful baby. My mom must be just talking.Well, I will never again question my mother's all wisdom.When my soul is born, one day my world was upside down and I was completely tired. To say I was overwhelmed would greatly underestimate the situation. And this continues to be the case on a daily basis. Yes, pregnant women are informed about different types of nutrition, breast inflammation, sleep and sleep, but when you are full of excitement, Minor inconveniences that your baby will not have in your hand almost all the time. At least some of the women are sure to be so. But for others, including me, these words became powerful insurmountable challenges that I couldn't even comprehend.I struggled with everything: loneliness, exhaustion, hormonal play, feelings of reluctance, and lack of confidence. My friends missed me. The coach missed me. What I missed was eating knives and forks. Even the work was lacking. Very.For one successful, smart, entertaining woman overnight I was transformed into an emotional wreck called a mother.It took me a couple of minutes before I was ready to leave the house for a minute or so.I completely forgot what it was to be with my own thoughts.I wolfed on unhealthy foods.I felt that I had lost all interest - I was just sitting on the couch with a baby in my chest and staring at Netflix. The first couple of months flew by in the blink of an eye. But when it started to lift, I started searching for my old self. (I had to search a lot.) I was looking for it in the gym. Evening with my friends. Dating in the evening with my husband. I tried to lure the old wardrobe bomb. High heels and training shoes. In my first year of my daughter, I spent a lot of time finding my old self. But nothing worked. To be honest, I haven't always found it.It's true that it may seem sad and depressing, but it really isn't. I didn't lose my identity, I got a new one. A new one that still has the old, just a little bit of a little adjustment.I became more patient.I became more generous with time.I see the bigger picture, which means less stress and negativity.I can laugh at myself.I'm thankful for a quiet cup of coffee, a lonely shower, a glass of wine with a friend. (I no longer expect these simple pleasures, which they have just made more valuable.) I've made new friends. I started a business that I would not have been able to do if my baby was not born. The sad thing is that it took 14 months for me to figure it out. 14 days denied the fact that the mother had changed inevitably and undeniably. And even though not all of the changes are unequivocally positive, by being able to accept, and even salute, I was much happier. I encourage all moms to try and find themselves in the same way as a baby. Not only do you "give birth to a baby", but you also choose a mother. New role. New challenge. New identity. And despite what they say, the change does not happen overnight. It takes time. It took me a year to learn to recognize the beauty and the good in it. Related links:


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