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Apologize immediately!

Apologize immediately!



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Does that sentence echo from your childhood, too? Do you also growl at the kid if you put a bad tree on the fire? What does apology mean: effective communication or holy text to get us out of trouble?

The three-year-old Peti it picks the blade out of the hand, the small one falls down, and starts a loud groan. The son's father told Petire: Immediately go there and apologize! Peti doesn't understand the situation, blinks and mumbles. The seventh Viki arrives home out of sight. When you are held accountable for a mistake, you respond brazenly. His mother says, "Don't talk to me, apologize immediately!"Viki is back:"I'm sorry!"Then they storm into your room.Бdбm at the workplace, he climbs out of the elevator without hesitation and collapses folders, the contents of which are scattered across the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"He says he helped me pick up the papers. The big family is in the garden together. Everyone is laughing, warming up to the conversation." Vera begins a story told to her confidentially by her hot girl. When the baby hears it, he enters his room with light eyes. Today Vera apologizes to her: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry to hear that. It wouldn't have belonged to them… "All these stories are about forgiveness. Which is the target, which was effective?

Only on level!

Before expecting your child to apologize, you need to understand a few things. If the apology does not have any meaning, it makes no sense, in fact, it hurts, because the child simply learns: I can go wrong, most of all I will say, "I apologize." Let's see how to get to the sincere apology!

1. You need to learn that he is responsible for what he does.

This does not mean that we have to be rude to fall if we drop an accident. But you must know that he did: "You dropped it, it's okay, crap!" So: you dropped it and it didn't fall! If we find that he thinks ("I was not me" or "was not right on me"), even though we are sure he is sober, let us talk with him in confidence about what we saw and how it could be better solved. We can even say that your dialogue would have taken place if you had not tried to guide us.
"Oh, my favorite blood is gone!"
"I was, I'm sorry!"
"Listen better at times, keep the tab now, help me break it down." So the scene isn't that scary anymore. If you understand that you do not have to fear retribution and react in a predictable way, you are more willing to take responsibility for what you have done.

2. You need to learn that what you do has an effect on others.

Of course, this also requires that you have the ability to empathize. Cognitive ability develops gradually, and the first signs can be seen around the age of one, but even in high school the child is not fully in possession. There are people who need to call your attention in adulthood: there are people in the world outside of you! If we want our child not to fall into the latter category, always tell us how effective you are in what you do. Even when you are little babies, you shouldn't laugh if you cause them pain by accident or curiosity. If you hurt someone more (psychologically, physically) at an earlier age, tell them what the other person might feel in the appropriate words."Andika is so swollen she barely fits into the dollhouse!" - says Bence with a grin on his way home. If the parent grins at him, it won't help Bence, finding out how bad it can be for someone who is backsliding because of a bodily error, is ridiculed or ridiculed. Of course, it is not only in moral requests that he must be influenced by his actions. If you leave your backpack in the middle of the room, we will be disturbed and your little one may fall on it. Let's tell him that. It's that simple.

3. The rules must be followed, both parents and children!

In order to be honest, we need to know that we have forgiven someone or have broken a rule - so we've made a mistake. If they are not in the family stable rules, values, and once this can be done, and once the parent's anger once and for all does the same, sometimes the child will not know when he or she is doing wrong. they think it might be easy to learn that it is best to apologize for everything, or just not to apologize, I can't help but wonder what is expected of me. Neither solution is good. Later, it can lead to a lot of complications and misunderstandings in school and adult life.

4. Excuses are not unnecessary or a sign of weakness

Yeah, if the kid understands it sincere apologies you can help me out of trouble many times. Of course, you can also learn this by experience. Let's look at the fourth of the examples listed at the beginning of this article. Vera apologized to her teenage girl for apologizing for things she shouldn't have done. Perhaps it would have been more convenient not to apologize. Perhaps one might think that the parental authority suffered from apology. But that's not the case. If Vera's baby is still bumpy, her heart's right. But the mother's apology can open a communication gate and allow you to discuss the matter and then move on more easily. Of course, this does not mean that we have to apologize to the child step by step, because it is right that if you put a bad tree on fire, you are right to growl at it. But if we realize we've made a mistake, we're sorry, or we have reacted violently, let us share our feelings with him. And we can also talk about it when we felt like we should have apologized to someone.

What's up with the words?

If you apologize, like Viki in our example, it certainly does not help the two sides in trouble. If the ubdam in our example is just chilling out to a colleague, "Sorry!", They will not have a better relationship. In apology it is very important that on the other side, let's acknowledge that we have caused trouble. Don't make excuses play a big role, and let's not take responsibility for the others "Sorry, but I had so much to do… " "I'm sorry I knocked it down, but if you didn't put it there… "This is just a way out of responsibility. Of course we can discuss" what if ... ", but this is the next step. it is very difficult for adults to carry it out, so we can't expect it right away from our kids. Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas Unless I'm sorry in my book. Harmat Issue 2200 Ft.More articles in Education: