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Choice: Who should be the child? Vekerdy ​​answers

Choice: Who should be the child? Vekerdy ​​answers



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"I'm twenty-nine years old, unfortunately, at the end of my life. My baby is two and a half years old, single parenting. "

Choice: Who should be the child? Vekerdy ​​answers

A mother from a letter reads the above quotation.How does this affect the child's later development and personalization? - the reader's letter continues. And how does a child's security and stability develop when he / she becomes basically aware of the fact that he / she alternates weekly with another? My child is not talking and is not clean at all. Unfortunately, I cannot take any communication with my brother about parenting and care; Who is my sick son needing first and foremost? I personally am opposed to this contact, but not to my dad! Please give us your opinion on this form of regulation, and if you would be a specialist in our case, would you recommend this alternate placement, what would your child's interests and rights be, taking into account? "

No idea, it's a week here, a week there

The "one week mother and one week father" solution for two and a half year old children I clearly disagree and oppose it - says Vekerdy ​​Tamбs psychologist.I know at this age, even those who approve of (maybe four-five-seven-eight years old) very strongly consider - and even oppose - of course. or at least very difficult) .But practical questions arise.Are you at home with the child? Or is the child waking up? When the father spends the week, who cares about him, who cares (because the father works in public). It was a defense that "we do not investigate the situation, only the mother cares for the child." Such things may have happened, but I do not think that this was the case even in the time of the complaints. Yes, of course, there is a situation where, even in the case of small children, the father proves to be - more appropriate - to place the child there. For example: for "nutrition", developer, because it gives security, both physically and spiritually.Also not speaking and not clean room for small children as much as possible need a single stable place and personand who doesn't, and that's mostly when it comes to the child's emotional needs and needs - the mother. (Of course, especially in the case of illness.) The basis of such opinion formation is, in my best hope, the "best interests of the child."

The first three years are ev

Because if the child is in any shape - a week here, a week there or a month here, a month there and so on. - Half wins placement, no need to pay child support! Child support is generally the responsibility of the father, and we can have very depressing experiences over the past years with regard to how unbelievable the father is alуl. (There are, of course, great, and every divorced fathers who are financially and equally responsible). the surplus "shouldn't have to" give money ". It doesn't seem to mind giving money to "the woman", but to common kids ... (Of course, I hear the clichés: why should she spend so much money, not spend on the child, I will not support it, etc.) All this - and that at least half a dozen hassles - there lies the backdrop to such decisions. "school"), of course it is very good to have a baby's bedding, a bed, a pajamas, a toothbrush, etc. on the other side. Just as I think parents are able to realize that the bigger the child is, the more freely - and not just the availability - parents have to do. it is definitely to be able to get along with each other. There are family therapists and mediators who can and should be contacted in the event of such problems. (Of course, it is also true that it is most difficult to persuade those who are most in need of it.) I hope that despite all hardships, we will find a good solution for the child's interest in due course. the place of a half-year-old, still speechless, and roomy little boy - as far as it can be remotely seen - is clearly next to his mother. (I note only that the child is neither formed nor cleansed " because it's two and a half years old. Some people speak very early, some only give birth at the age of three, but then they start talking in sentences. But, I think it matters a lot. As far as room cleanliness is concerned, it develops with differentiation and situation at this age.) (Source of the article, Tamás Vekerdy: The Parent's Inquiry, Book 2 of the Psychologist's Answer). )
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